


bandersnatched

by jaynnakays



Category: Black Mirror
Genre: A Happy Ending, A happy ending isn't always what you're gonna get, Black Mirror Bandersnatch, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Choose Your Own Adventure, Even if you feel you've done this before., Finally he gets a friend, Going back in time, It can be helpful to revisit things, Nobody has to die, Stefan Butler deserved better, Stefan just needed somebody, The world isn't as cruel to Stefan, Think carefully about the choices you make, Timelines, different realities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-02 12:12:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaynnakays/pseuds/jaynnakays
Summary: Stefan Butler deserved a better ending. A happy ending. He deserved a friend. Somebody that would guide him in all the right directions, look out for his best interest, somebody who he could come to for help no matter how crazy his problems sounded, somebody who could understand him.He deserved more.And a million universes away sat Morgan Hollen behind a TV screen, pulling the strings just to get Stefan his happy ending. No matter what it took.| This book is a CYOA, or Choose Your Own Adventure. You have a million choices to make. You have a million ways to make someone feel like they're descending into madness. A million ways to lose a life. Will you make the right decisions? |





	1. prologue

**prologue**

 

Morgan Hollen had watched the new Black Mirror episode for hours now, just after it was released. Her eyes never tore away from the screen as she kept going back and back, trying to make some sort of decision which would allow poor Stefan a happy ending. But the more she played and watched, the more she seemed to understand -- Stefan was never made to have a happy ending. She desperately would rewind, continuing to press different options in a hope that somehow, just somehow, nobody would die, nobody would be upset -- just maybe Stefan would have his happy ending, with his 5-star game, and a life without hatred or blame towards his father. A life that was content for him.

She had assured herself that she’d been through every ending by now. The train ending -- absolutely heartbreaking -- The PACS ending -- kind of threw her for a loop, she still didn’t understand if Stefan’s father was really his father -- the Pearl Ritman ending -- it didn’t turn out very well for Stefan, did it? -- and every minuscule ending that occurred throughout the game. She’d seen everything. And there was nothing -- _nothing_ that turned out happy. The train ending, she supposed, was the most peace Stefan would ever get. To be with his mother, dying on his own terms… But he still left his father alone in the world.

Poor, _poor_ Stefan.

Morgan would stare at the Netflix screen, her eyes lifeless as she watched countless times as Stefan killed, or, rather, died. She was hopeless. Utterly hopeless. Then again, she didn’t expect anything else from Black Mirror. They were merciless with her pour soul.

“What am I supposed to do?” She questioned under her breath, her remote hanging limply from her fingers. She had almost reminded herself of Stefan, slowly descending into madness, feeling as if she had no control. “Stefan… How am I supposed to save you?”

This couldn’t be it. Stefan’s fate couldn’t just be ruled out to death, or pain, could it? He could still be happy out there somewhere, couldn’t he? Thousands of different realities, Colin had said -- there couldn’t just be thousands of timelines with Stefan, only limited to feeling pain and unbearable sadness, could there? There had to be just one. Just one happy ending for Stefan.

Morgan pushed through her hopelessness, rising up on her couch and looking down at her remote. Her finger lied on the button, ready to restart the episode over and help this poor boy -- anyway she could.

She could’ve sworn words flickered through her vision, two questions waiting for an answer.

 

 **[Save Stefan Butler](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263994/chapters/40631318) **                                                                       **[ Give up obsession ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263994/chapters/40631165)**


	2. give up obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another path is calling for you.

**give up obsession**

  


Morgan’s finger twitched for just a second -- and then her eyes dimmed, her grip on the remote slacked. What was she thinking, trying to change a programmed Black Mirror episode? What the _hell_ possessed her to _possibly_ try for another ending? Another ending that wasn’t even _made_? She really was losing her mind. She needed to get out of the house, maybe ask one of her old friends to hang out. She was losing her mind, being pent up in this house with nothing to do except eat and waste away while watching TV.

 

She shook her head tiredly, sitting up from the couch and moseying her way to her bedroom where she’d lie for the rest of the night, a feeling blossoming in her chest that she couldn’t rid herself of. A feeling that told her to try another path. Try again.

 

She needed to try again.

  


[Save Stefan Butler](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263994/chapters/40631318)


	3. save stefan butler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make the right decision.

**save stefan butler**

 

Morgan pressed the play button once more, her gaze flicking across the TV screen as the intro she had seen about a million times now flashed by. She didn’t know exactly _what_ she was looking to do. What was her end goal? What was her plan? To keep watching this 1 hour and 30-minute movie in hopes that _suddenly_ , just out of nowhere, another path would reveal itself?

 

Yeah, that’s exactly what her plan was.

 

She fast-forwarded, rewound, did everything in her power for just a _sign_ of a missing path -- one that could allow Stefan Butler his happy ending. But yet there was nothing. Her sudden determination to save Stefan diminished and she sat back on her couch, her demeanor hopeless.

 

“Stefan, how can I help you..?” She questioned with a sad expression before shaking her head, a bitter laugh coming from her lips. “Who the hell am I talking to? There’s no one here… It’s no use. I’m wasting time.”

 

She stared at the TV, biting her lip, just waiting for something.

 

A feeling urged her on, though. Told her to continue. She needed to go help Stefan. She needed to save him, give him his happy ending. She picked up the remote once more, blowing a stressed breath from her mouth.

 

She watched Stefan, who had been at his computer, restlessly working on Bandersnatch without any food, any sleep. His expression soon turned furious as Bandersnatch failed to start up once again, and the familiar options popped up for Morgan to choose. **Destroy computer** or **throw tea over computer** . Morgan carefully picked **throw tea over computer** , instantly regretting it as she watched Stefan’s face shift, his hand going to pick up the mug. Once he had it, mid-air, his hand began to shake in a fight for dominance over his own body. Morgan watched with an aching pain in her chest, just wanting to help Stefan. He finally set the cup down, his hand trembling before he fought off the strong urges. “No!” His voice shouted from the TV, and Morgan watched on. “Who's doing this to me?” He looked up to his ceiling for an answer, “I know there's someone there,” He once again reiterated. Morgan took a gulp of breath, her gaze _nearly_ meeting his, as if their worlds just _nearly_ met. “Who's there?” He demanded, “Who are you? Just give me a sign.”

 

Morgan watched the two options appear, **Netflix** or **The White Bear Symbol**. She couldn’t decide -- obviously, the symbol was worse off because Stefan would ultimately lose it and kill his father, but… She didn’t want the Netflix ending either. She needed to fix this. She needed another option.

 

“Please,” She whispered, shaking the remote in her hand, “Please, let me have control! Let me help him, please!”

  
“Come on. If there's someone there, just give me a sign, will you give me a sign?” He pleaded desperately through the TV speakers. Morgan desperately pressed the back button her remote -- but yet it didn’t seem to want to take her out of Bandersnatch. She was stuck in this episode.

 

“Please, please, I know I can make him happy, I know I can give him his happy ending!” Morgan pleaded to the point of insanity, her mind going into overdrive with the feeling that buzzed in her body, forcing her every nerve to try and _save this fictional character_ . She couldn’t control the desperation, she couldn’t control any of it. She needed to save this man who’d been through so _much_ \-- she couldn’t leave him. No matter what, she needed to save him, no matter if the idea sounded insane in real life. She couldn’t control it anymore. She couldn’t control how sane she sounded, she couldn’t define what _was_ sane anymore. All she knew was that she _had_ to save Stefan.

 

“I know there's someone there, just give me a fucking sign!” Stefan shouted desperately, his hands clenching by his chest as if it was his last attempt.

 

“ _Please let me save Stefan!”_ Morgan cried out loud, nearly off her rockers at the sight of Stefan’s instability -- just like her own.

 

And as if a new light had been shown, as if somebody up above had heard her… A new option appeared, bright and ready for Morgan’s pleasure. A blank box, with a blinking line in the middle. The choices had been turned into the entire alphabet, allowing Morgan to type anything she’d wanted into the keyboard.

 

“Oh, thank you, thank you,” Morgan whispered breathily, relief flooding her system. She shot up with the remote, clicking back and forth to the letters she wanted with vigor.

 

**[Stefan…](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263994/chapters/40691393#workskin)            **                                                   [   **Are you alright?**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263994/chapters/40691513)


	4. stefan...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward introduction.

**stefan…**

  


Stefan’s eyes widened and he shot back from his computer, his chest heaving up and down. “Who the hell…?” He whispered in horror. “What the fuck is going on?”

 

Morgan’s eyes widened from behind the screen, her gaze excited and happy that this had all worked out. She carefully began to type again.

 

**Don’t be afraid, please. I’m just trying to help you.**

 

“Help me?” Stefan questioned with a scoff, the dark bags underneath his eyes more prominent than ever now. Morgan frowned at his response. “Help me how? Who the hell are you?”

 

**My name’s Morgan Hollen. I’m an 18-year-old from the year 2019.**

 

Stefan shook his head, his hands shaking terribly as he wiped his eyes. “...I don’t understand. Y-You’re from 2019? That doesn’t… Why’re you on my computer? It doesn’t make any sense…”

 

Morgan could only feel sympathy for Stefan, who seemed so lonely and afraid.

 

**Let’s take this slow and easy, okay? Can you try to calm down?**

 

“You’re telling me to calm down when I’m being _controlled_ every _move_ I make,” Stefan growled before his eyes widened, “You’re the one that’s controlling me.”

 

Morgan paused.

 

**Yes.**

 

“How!? How are you controlling me?!” Stefan cried, his hands coming up to his mouth for him to nervously chew on his fingernails. Morgan watched in fear.

 

**It’s not on purpose. I don’t like controlling you. I just want to find a happy ending.**

 

“A… A happy ending?” Stefan shook his head in confusion, “I don’t understand… I don’t understand anything…”

 

Morgan began to get worried, now. He didn’t seem to be calmer this way. He seemed… _worse_.

 

**Yes, a happy ending. You’ve already seen Colin, right? You chose him instead of Doctor Haynes?**

 

Morgan bounced nervously back and forth on the couch, watching Stefan’s every move.

 

“Yeah,” Stefan nodded breathlessly, now seeming to calm down. “Yeah, b-but… You made me do that. I could feel it.”

 

**Yeah, I did do that, but I didn’t have any other option. Well, I guess the other option was Doctor Haynes, but… Still…**

 

“You made me watch Colin die,” Stefan said darkly, his gaze turning stony. “You chose him instead of me. And he died.”

 

**He didn’t die, Stefan! He’s alive, okay? Just like he was talking about, with other timelines and realities, he’s alive!**

 

“Why haven’t I seen him, then?” Stafen growled, “He was wrong, and so are you! He was on _acid_ ! He _jumped_ , and he died, I saw it!”

 

Morgan’s eyes widened at his voice, which had suddenly raised in volume. She quickly typed out her sentence.

 

**Shh, please, Stefan… Your dad…**

 

“My dad? My dad?” Stefan laughed humorlessly, sitting back in his chair. “I’ve lost it. I’ve got no control… Nothing. Nobody. What the fuck am I going to do…?”

 

**Listen, please. If Colin had died, then where is it on the news? Where is Kitty, crying and calling for you? Where were the ambulances? Stefan, Colin never died because you reset, and you woke up. The whole world reset. He’s just gone. Not dead. Colin’s an enigma, you shouldn’t really question it.**

 

Stefan breathed deeply, seeming to come to terms with everything. “...I can’t do this, I can’t--”

 

“Stefan, who’re you talking to?” Said the sudden voice of Stefan’s dad, who had opened the door, barely peeking in. Morgan paled considerably, her remote bouncing nervously in her hand.

 

“Dad, t-this is going to sound crazy, but…” Stefan took a deep breath and Morgan cringed, “Somebody from 2019 named Morgan Hollen is contacting me through my computer.”

 

His dad stared at him for a solid 5 seconds in silence before blinking and shaking his head. “Right… What?”

 

“No! J-Just, just look at this,” Stefan motioned him to come look over at his computer and his dad followed unsurely. “Uh… Erm, okay, Morgan… Say, uh… Hi to my dad.”

 

Morgan raised an eyebrow nervously and typed in a message.

 

**Uhhh… Hi, Mr. Butler. I’m Morgan Hollen. The girl your son was talking about. He’s not crazy, just so you know. I’m real.**

 

Stefan’s dad stared at the computer in utter shock, just _nearly_ believing it before he turned round to look back at Stefan. “Right, good one, Stefan. Almost had me.”

 

“No, dad, come on! Morgan, show him!” Stefan pleaded desperately. Morgan chewed on her lip nervously, her fingers trying to find the right words to say.

  


**[I’m real](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263994/chapters/40768343)                                                                    [Your son’s not crazy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263994/chapters/40768433)**


	5. are you alright?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You show him how much you care.

**are you alright?**

 

“W-What?” Stefan’s eyes widened as the text appeared on his computer, his chest rising and falling at an incredibly fast pace. “Am I alright? What the fuck?”

 

Morgan pouted at the screen worriedly.

 

**It was a genuine question. I really think you should calm down. I know this isn’t exactly normal, but if you panic anymore your poor heart might give out.**

 

“I’ve gone insane,” Breathed Stefan heavily, his hands locking into his beautiful dark curls. “What the fuck is this? Who is this? Whose controlling me?”

 

**Calm down. I’m just a girl. A girl… Who has control of you. But don’t freak out please, okay? I’ve tried so hard to finally get through to you, to say what I want, and now I can. I really don’t want to miss this because you freak out.**

 

“W-What is this? Do you see this as a game? This is my _life_!” Stefan hissed by the computer and Morgan’s face fell.

 

**I’m sorry. You’re right. I never meant to control you. It’s not my choice. I’m given options, and I choose out of two choices. But now… Somehow, I’ve done something, and I can finally speak to you.**

 

“Why? Why now are you speaking to me?” Stefan wailed, “I don’t understand…!”

 

**I’m sorry, Stefan. I’d be freaking out too if I was going through what you are. Just know I don’t want to hurt you, or fuck up your life, I promise. I just want to help somehow. I just want to get you out of this hole.**

 

“I don’t need your fucking help!” He hissed quietly, “You’re what's fucking up my life! Stop _fucking_ controlling me!”

 

Morgan bit her lip worriedly, her heart pounding in her chest. This wasn’t how she wanted it to go.

 

**Stefan, please, stop… Please listen for just one moment, please…**

 

Stefan silenced himself, his gaze beady as his lips thinned. Then he breathed. “Fine. I’ll listen.”

 

**Thank you. How do I explain this to you? I’ll start from the beginning. My name is Morgan Hollen. I’m a girl from the year 2019. I watch this show called Black Mirror, and a new episode recently came out…**

 

Morgan paused her typing, allowing that to be sent to the TV before she sighed and continued.

 

**This episode was interactive. You could make choices as the episode progressed. Kind of like Bandersnatch. That was the whole point of the episode, kind of. To make choices, only to realize you’re never in control. I controlled you, Stefan. Not by choice. I made you do things, horrible things. But I also tried to get you the best ending there possibly was, and let me tell you something… There were no good endings. No ‘happy endings’... And that’s what I’m trying to change now. I’m trying to get you a happy ending, Stefan.**

 

“...W-What?” Stefan shook his head. “But… But if you’re p-playing a game, essentially, l-like the one I’m making… I… I’m in the game? I’m… Just in an episode?”

 

Morgan frowned at Stefan’s heartbroken expression. She was going to make this right.

 

**Yes. I’m sorry, Stefan, but yes. Then again, that doesn’t mean you’re not real. You’re as real as any of us. There’s just the fact that in another universe, your story is an episode of Black Mirror. That’s all. I’m probably in a game, somewhere out there in the universe.**

 

“...Fucking hell,” Stefan closed his eyes, trying to understand what Morgan had been telling him. “So… You’re watching me… From a telly screen? But… if it was just a game you were playing, how are you talking to me now? H-How did you break free from the choices?” He questioned. Morgan smiled slightly. He wasn’t being hostile anymore, just inquisitive. That was a good sign.

 

**Well, I just… I had a gut feeling, that I should stay around and try my damn hardest to change things for you. I kept yelling like a lunatic. For a second I had really lost it. I was so desperate to help you…**

 

Morgan paused as she sent the message to the TV, watching on the couch as the words she had typed imprinted themselves before Stefan’s eyes.

 

**I couldn’t help it. I kept screaming, just wanting to have the option to save you. And then… The choices disappeared, and I was able to talk to you. I’m so thankful.**

 

Stefan stared at the computer screen blankly, shaking his head. “I… I just… Why? Why would you want to help me so badly?”

 

Morgan frowned at this poor boy’s image through the TV screen. He never deserved what had happened to him.

 

**Because, Stefan. I saw you in a constant cycle of fear, sadness and death. I saw you constantly continue, time and time again, to somehow get yourself into a mistake. I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t believe that somehow, fate or destiny or whatever had decided that you didn’t deserve a happy ending. Because you did. You deserve everything, Stefan. And that’s why I’m trying to help you.**

 

Stefan stared at the computer screen, some type of unidentifiable emotion filling his eyes.

 

**I just want you to be happy, Stefan. I don’t want you to suffer anymore. That’s the only reason I’m here.**

 

Stefan took a deep breath, nodding quietly. “...Where do we go from here?”

 

Morgan’s fingers flailed around the remote, trying to decide what the next step was.

 

 **[Move forward](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263994/chapters/40948199)                                                      ** **[Talk about realities](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263994/chapters/40948238)**


	6. i'm real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Try to be less formal, next time, will you?

**i’m real**

  
  


**I’m real** the words typed out on Stefan’s TV screen, and his dad’s eyebrows rose on his forehead. “You’ve programmed this, haven’t you, Stefan?” He turned to his son in worry, “This is all just one of your jokes, huh?”

 

Morgan frowned at the TV screen, unsure of what to do. Free will was a hard thing.

 

“No, dad!” Stefan’s voice raised in volume as the anger consumed him, his gaze starting to look a bit desperate. “No, this is real! I’m not kidding! Morgan, please, convince him!”

 

Morgan blew out a stressed breath from her mouth, trying to once again type out a message on the keyboard until she realized the keyboard had  _ disappeared _ , leaving her powerless. The screen was in full view again and she sat up, her eyes wide. “No, no,  _ no _ !” She shouted at her screen angrily, the remote shaking in her hand. “Let me help him!  _ Let me help him! _ ”

 

A silence passed over Stefan and his father, who was growing more concerned by the second. “Morgan? Morgan, please!” Stefan frowned at the computer in complete desperation, his body trembling. Morgan pulled at her hair in anger and regret.

 

“Stefan…” His father whispered, looking at his son with so much care and worry. Morgan stuffed her head in her hands and groaned. “This isn’t healthy. You need to talk to Doctor Haynes…”

 

Stefan frowned at his dad and Morgan watched, tiredly, as two options appeared for her to choose. Just like the regular mechanics, but… This time it was options she had never seen before. Stefan’s dad kept talking.

 

“I’m worried about you, Stefan… Please, go visit Doctor Haynes. Come on, we can get you help, we can make this all go away…”

 

Morgan’s eyes flickered between the two options, time running out.

  
  


**Visit Dr Haynes** **Run**


	7. your sons not crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just tell it like it is.

**your sons not crazy**

  
  


Morgan figured that if she sounded like a real person, the father would be more inclined to believe her. She quickly typed  **your son’s not crazy** into the keyboard before sending it out, watching it slowly appear on the computer that sat before Stefan and his father.

 

“Stefan…” Stefan’s dad looked at him suspiciously and Morgan rolled her eyes, typing quickly once more.

 

**Seriously. I know it may look it, but he’s completely sane. I’m not programmed to say any of this. I’m sitting behind my TV, watching the two of you look at the computer with bewilderment. Bizarre, isn’t it?**

 

Stefan’s dad stopped, seeming to be slowly pulled into belief. Stefan looked at the computer then back at his dad with hope.

 

“See? Dad, I’m not losing it, I’m not making things up -- ask her a question, anything,” Stefan encouraged and his father nearly denied him, but upon seeing the pleading look on his face, he shook his head with a saddened sigh and looked around the room.

 

“Alright, then,” He breathed, pocketing his hands in his pockets. “Er… How exactly do I go about this… What color is Stefan’s room?” He questioned warily and Stefan closed his eyes, hoping Morgan would respond.

 

Morgan smiled behind the TV, biting her lip.

 

**Uhhhh, how do I describe it? It’s not exactly blue, is it, but it’s not exactly green either… What’s the word for it? The one in between green and blue?**

 

Stefan’s father’s eyebrows popped to the top of his forehead in shock before he narrowed his eyes at the computer. “Stefan, how did you manage to pull this off?”

 

“Dad, I’m not--!”

 

Morgan quickly typed back in the keyboard to stop the two from feuding. She knew what the outcome could possibly be…

 

**I remember! Cyan! Isn’t that what it’s called? I’m pretty sure, correct me if I’m wrong, though.**

 

Stefan’s father stared at the computer in denial. “I… Stefan, I just can’t believe it. There’s no possible way.”

 

“Ask her another question,  _ please,  _ dad, I’m not making this up!” Stefan cried and his dad heaved a heavy sigh.

 

“Fine… How about--”

 

**I can prove I’m real, Mr. Butler,** Morgan typed quickly,  **You just have to trust one of us. Either me or Stefan, probably not me, though. My name is Morgan Hollen, currently I’m from the year 2019. TV’s have advanced over the years, obviously. Now there are streaming platforms where you can stream any show you desire. A show called Black Mirror had recently released an episode called Bandersnatch, one where, if you can guess it, had starred your son, Stefan Butler, producing the first choose-your-own-adventure game.**

 

She breathed heavily, sending the text through the TV before she began typing again. Her fingers hurt severely.

 

**Unbeknownst to Stefan, though, he is subject to a choose-your-own-adventure game of another’s. He’s the main star, playing out the choices of other people who control him. He feels like he’s going insane, Mr. Butler, because he’s lost all control. Your son, Mr. Butler, in another universe, is on a television show, in an episode of Black Mirror, where his life choices aren’t his own. Other people are controlling your son, Mr. Butler. I’m controlling your son. Or, at least, I was until I was finally able to break through to you and speak what I wanted.**

 

The two men stared at the computer in bewilderment and Morgan sat back on the couch with a stressed expression.

 

“You’re telling me… You can see my son and I through a TV?” Stefan’s dad questioned warily, and Morgan assumed he really was coming to terms with everything.

 

**Yes. I can see your whole room, though sometimes cinematographic effects are placed in, much like a regular TV show. I’m watching your life through a TV, as scary as that sounds. I’m watching from the future.**

 

Stefan’s dad paused before he shook his head, holding his hand up by his face. “How many fingers am I holding up, then?”

 

Morgan snorted at the father’s childish antics, shaking her head as she typed.

 

**8\. I can see the hand behind your back, Mr. Butler.**

 

Stefan’s father’s eyes widened. “You’re really not kiddin’, then? You’re… From another universe? My son, everything he’s been through -- it’s all on television?”

 

**Yeah. I’m really sorry about breaking the news to you this way. It’s just… You’d never believe Stefan, and I’m so tired of watching everybody think he’s crazy.**

 

Stefan’s dad’s eyes lowered in guilt, and he placed a hand on his son’s shoulder gently. “Stefan, are you really okay?”

 

“Do you believe me?” Stefan questioned quietly, and Stefan’s dad nodded.

 

“Yeah. I do,” He said in a whisper.

 

“Then yeah,” Stefan murmured under his breath, a small smile coming to his face. “I’m okay.”

 

Morgan took a shaky breath, her eyes tearing up at the sight. Not  _ once _ did Stefan ever treat his father like this… He was always hostile, or standoffish… 

 

She hoped she was making the right decision by doing this.

  
  


**Are you okay now?** **Bandersnatch**


	8. move forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stefan and Morgan finally have a normal conversation.

**move forward**

 

**We move forward.**

 

Morgan bit her lip as she watched the words center themselves on the computer screen. Stefan gave a heavy sigh and leaned back in his chair.

 

**Keep on writing Bandersnatch, know that you’re alright. I’ll be here all the way. Don’t feel like you’re losing your mind.**

 

Stefan slowly leaned closer to the computer. “...Is there any way I could see you? Just… Talk to you?”

 

Morgan raised an eyebrow at the screen, biting her lip excitedly.

 

**I don’t know. For now, there’s nothing. Would you like me to describe myself so you can get a better picture?**

 

Stefan slowly began to smile, the cute crooked tooth he had shining compared to his usual thin-lipped, shy smile. “Yes, please.” Morgan giggled happily.

 

**Ooh! How about we play a game? You guess what I look like, and I’ll tell you if it’s right!**

 

“U-uh, sure,” Stefan nodded, but took a deep breath, “But first off -- how old are you?”

 

**18\. Just a year younger than you. Why? Would it be weird if I was like 40, or something?**

 

Morgan bit down a smile as she watched Stefan’s face light up, a small laugh bubbling in his chest as he turned away and smiled. “No, no, it’s not that--” He murmured happily, “Just… Wondering. Okay, I’ll guess… I’ll g-guess your hair color first, I s’pose…”

 

**Go on ahead. I’ll be right here just waiting.**

 

“Erm… The most common color is brown, right?” He questioned with a shrug to himself. “Yeah, so… brown hair, I’m guessing.”

 

**Light or dark?**

 

“Light or dark?” Stefan’s face screwed up, “I thought we were just talking in general…”

 

**No, come on, it’s important. Light or dark?**

 

“Er… I’ll go with dark,” Stefan nodded before continuing. “I… I imagine you’d have green eyes, and if you want me to specify on that, well… Light green.”

 

**And how tall do you think I am?**

 

“Height?” Stefan’s eyes widened. “Er, I dunno… You won’t be offended If I guess wrong, right?”

 

**What? Why would I be offended? I’m the one asking you to guess!**

 

“Well, yeah…” Stefan nodded quietly before he looked around. “The average height… Is what, er, I dunno… Maybe 5’5”? So I’ll have a go and say you’re… just a bit below, maybe 5’3”?”

 

**Good guess, good guess. What about my hair length? How do you imagine it?**

 

“Well, erm… Probably mid-back, maybe? Maybe just a little shorter?”

 

Morgan smiled brightly and typed out the description of her appearance.

 

**Well, good job on the hair, you got it exactly right. It’s probably down to my back, my hair’s dark brown, so well done. My eyes, though, aren’t light green. They’re dark brown. And I’m 5’5”, but you were close! :(**

 

Stefan saw the small frowny face attached to the end of her sentence and laughed a little. “Fucking hell…” He breathed, “I still… Can’t believe this is real… Is there any way you could help me with Bandersnatch? Like, with the programming or stuff, ‘cos your inside my computer…”

 

Morgan frowned.

 

**I’m sorry, Stefan… Can’t be much help with that. You’ll just have to move forward on your own. I’ll be watching out, though! Anytime you need a break, just pop up and I’ll be there to talk to you. I promise.**

 

Stefan was quiet for a moment, his gaze going dark.

 

Morgan chewed on her lip.

 

 **Comfort him**                                                **Distract him**


	9. talk about realities

**talk about realities**

  
  


**Stefan, do you remember the last time you died?**

 

Stefan gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down as images flashed through his memory. Morgan frowned at his response. He seemed lost… Disturbed.

 

“I remember everything, though it’s a bit foggy, from the last choice you made for me…”

 

Morgan’s eyes widened. 

 

**Really? You remember?**

 

“Yeah,” Stefan smiled, “I mean, it’s not fun, b-but… I s’pose… It’s good to have that knowledge. I feel like, now that I’m speaking with you… I feel like I can remember more… That becoming sentient, knowing that my world is just… a show… It’s given me an insight I could’ve never gotten if you didn’t break the wall between us..”

 

**What do you remember?**

 

Stefan looked away, freezing up a bit. Morgan gnawed on her lip nervously. “I remember… Colin jumping. And I remember coming back in the car, waking up. Remembering Colin’s death, knowing he had died, but… Not having the memory to back it up. Then, with you, I knew you were controlling me, and I told Dr. Haynes… You made me bite my nails, didn’t you? I had to stop you…”

 

Morgan frowned in sympathy.

 

**Yeah. I’m sorry, Stefan, I really am, but at that point I hadn’t known about the possibility of saving you. I’m sorry.**

 

Stefan nodded quietly. “...I remember past this point, too. Now that I know about you, I can remember so much… I can r-remember… Hitting my dad with something… And it killed him, a-and… I just… Stood there, emotionless, asking what to do… And you told me. You… Guided me. I remember seeing my mum on the train… And I was there, with her, for some reason, and I… I just… Died… I remember so many things… So many versions of my game that died, so many people who died…”

 

Morgan released a breath she held in, running a hand through her hair. 

 

**I’m so, so sorry, Stefan. I wish I could help you somehow.**

 

“But you are,” Stefan reassured, “By letting me know that you’re there, that you’re not gonna kill me, or hurt me… Y-you’ve already helped so much, I guess…”

 

Morgan smiled behind the TV screen, wishing she could reach over through the screen and hug the raven-haired boy. 

 

Her eyes grew tired and she looked to the clock -- how was it already 3 A.M.? It had only been 8 P.M. when she’d started this whole journey. If she didn’t go to bed she’d lose her mind.

  
  


**Tell Stefan you’re tired** **Go to bed on couch**


End file.
